Analytics are Cruel

So I was talking to this agency for a copywriting gig and didn’t get it. No biggie — there’s always opportunities here and there. So the creative director wrote me back saying that there was some “good stuff” in my portfolio, but blah blah blah. Except the “blah blah blah” bit was basically that they were looking for more than just a headline writer. They wanted someone who thinks strategically about the business and across new platforms.

I thought to myself, “Odd. I must’ve really fucked up my portfolio if he didn’t pick that up. I mean, that’s a pretty accurate description of me.”

Analytics are cruel because when I looked at the web analytics on my portfolio between when I sent it to him and when I received the rejection email, there was only a slight uptick. Very few pages were viewed for more than 10 seconds. And none of the larger “zoom in here to read” files were viewed. None. So I can surmise that he spent about 90 seconds on my site.

Analytics are cruel because I know that I wasn’t even really considered. Pity, that is.

(Oh, and I stole the title. We had Ze Frank as the emcee for the Webtrends Engage conference a few weeks back. And he had this bit about how “Analytics are Cruel.” It’s good! Watch it below.)